'I lost £1.8million and had nothing left after my partner took control of my money'

affects one in seven women in the UK, and it can truly have some devastating impacts on the lives of those who experience it. Someone who knows only too well about this is former and campaigner Sam Beckinsale.

Sam was an accomplished actress whose sights were set on bigger and more exciting things when she was at the height of her career over twenty years ago. The now 58-year-old is most known for her role as Kate Stevens in the hit TV series, , from 1990 to 1992.

After leaving the show, she picked up numerous television gigs and stage plays, and Sam says at this time of her life, things were only on the up. She told the : "By the time I was 24, I'd already been working for over a decade and had bought my own flat. I will definitely say I was fiercely independent as that's how I was brought up.

"Particularly , I paid the top tier tax rate, I was VAT registered, I employed an agent and an accountant. I knew what I was doing with my money. My nickname on London's Burning was 'Freehold' as I buy and do up properties as a bit of a side hustle. I worked very hard, but I also played hard as well."

Sam - whose father was actor Richard Beckinsale, star of the TV series Porridge - could not describe herself as "silly" when it came to her money. She believed she was "absolutely economically capable and confident" and never thought she would become a victim of economic abuse.

When Sam first met her abuser, he was at first "utterly charming, funny and interesting". However, over the course of their relationship, Sam said he would go on to "financially destroy" her.

She said: "I never thought of him as a physical threat to me. But this man, my love, partner, took everything from me. He took my home, my money, my career, my future, and my confidence in my economic abilities and management, but also my confidence in myself as a human being and who I was in the around me."

Like in many cases, the relationship moved very quickly after it began, and not too long after meeting, the pair moved in together to Sam's home. He then convinced her to sell this place and move away from her family, friends and support networks as it would be better for his work.

During this time, his abuse was subtle, but it was also outweighed by the small acts of kindness he gave to her. Over time, her abuser spat harsh criticisms at her over the smallest of things, claiming that he hated the way she cut bread, drank coffee, and slept. Looking back, Sam can now see how she changed herself and her personality to appease him, but with hindsight, she says she did this in order to survive.

Sam's abuser soon turned to her finances and convinced her to have joint bank accounts, to put him on her mortgage to help with payments, and to take over all her insurance accounts. Sam added: "They say they want to help and look after you, but when you say you don't need looking after, they say you don't trust them and they're hurt.

"And you say yes because it never crosses your mind that someone you are in a love relationship with would do anything like this to you. Like, I drove around without car insurance for a whole year, and I never even knew. He was in control of this."

As her abuser took control of the money she had, he also stopped her from making any more. Over the years, he would manipulate Sam and convince her to not take on roles or jobs, which pushed her further out of the acting sphere she had worked hard to break into. Without working, Sam relied on savings, and when they diminished, she was soon left without any of her own money.

She said: "I can tell you exactly how much he cost me. In lost property savings and , he has cost me around £800,000, and in lost earnings, it's around £1million. He told me he wanted to see me on benefits and in rental for the rest of my life, and he did push me to this point. I truly ended up with nothing, whilst concurrently, everything got swapped into his name."

When Sam was able to escape the relationship, her local domestic abuse organisation was able to help her figure out what had happened to her. Sam said: "It was a blessing to be shown that it wasn't me, it had nothing to do with me and that it was all him, and he would do it again if he could. Yes, there were red flags, and I saw them, and I did challenge them. But I didn't know at the time they were serious life-threatening signals because I didn't know what was controlling or coercive behaviour."

The years of psychological, emotional, and economic abuse from him took its toll on Sam, and at the end she described herself as "physically and emotionally depleted". She added: "Money is what we all need for every functional aspect of our lives, and when somebody gets control of that, so how and if you earn, what you buy and eat, and how and if you live, they absolutely got control of you."

Sam came forward to share her story of economic abuse for the first time in 2022 and now is an ambassador at the charity Surviving Economic Abuse. The charity recently partnered with high street bank TSB to help develop its policies to both help victims of financial abuse and prevent them. TSB currently offers Safe Spaces for domestic abuse victims within its branches and was one of the first high street banks to do so in 2021.

This service is also available discreetly through its website. All TSB branch staff have also received specialist training to respond to disclosures of domestic abuse. The high street banking chain also launched a "Flee Fund" in 2022, which gives those experiencing abuse from a partner a free £500 payment to help them escape. Since the launch, 579 people have claimed it, including 519 women and 52 men.

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Surviving Economic Abuse reports that one in seven (15%) UK women experienced economic abuse from a current or former partner within the last 12 months. This is equivalent to around 4.1 million women aged 18 years and over. The charity also notes that economic abuse rarely happens in isolation, and happens typically alongside other forms of domestic abuse.

However, Sam says although this figure is "frightening" - it's likely to be even higher. She explained: "You think about what you need now to get a house or even rent. It's almost like you cannot do anything without a second income. If you are desperate, vulnerable, or at risk of becoming financially vulnerable, you may unintentionally choose to open yourself up to abuse, thinking you are making a good decision for yourself. "

Kate Osiadacz, Head of Responsible Business, TSB, said: “We are delighted to be working with Sam, whose insight and powerful campaigning will prove vital in helping us reach even more domestic and economic abuse victim-survivors across the UK. Having operated our Emergency Flee Fund for TSB customers for over two years, alongside offering Safe Spaces – we see first-hand the huge impact businesses can have in helping people escape an abuser and starting the journey to getting the help and support they need.”

Sam shared her story with the hope she can help others who may be experiencing what she went through. She added: "I've thought about it a lot before I went public, and I just thought I couldn't do something. I can't have the information that I have and not help, and just walk away. I need to help others not to be caught out like I was. These abusers use financial products which are supposedly safe for us all to use, and they are safe unless you are operating outside the bounds of society."

If you are affected by domestic abuse, you should contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247. The 24-hour helpline, run by Refuge, is for women experiencing domestic abuse, their family, friends and others calling on their behalf. Individuals can set a codeword and send a message to the helpline to either contact them by phone or email. They can also contact an alternative number, such as a friend’s phone.

can be contacted on 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday, between 9am and 8pm, or by emailing info@mensadviceline.org.uk. A web chat service also available on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, between 10am and 11am and between 3pm and 4pm

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